So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
