if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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