I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
