That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
