I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
