WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
