I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
