Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize