we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
