can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
