we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
