i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just had sex bonerless
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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