i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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