He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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