Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
