I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
