i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
