I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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