He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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