The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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