Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
