i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
