Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
