I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
