I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
