dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
