I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I supernannyed him into submission
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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