i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
