Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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