About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
