yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
