My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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