6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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