made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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