YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
