Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
