Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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