some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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