I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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