I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Too much gin, very little bucket
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
