Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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