oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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