it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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