I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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