Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
