...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
