Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
