cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
