we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
