your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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