My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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