i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize