She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
