i was born a porn star she said
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize