Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your penis caused this!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
