My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
