I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
