dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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