giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
