i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
