I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What a dumb baby whore.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
