i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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