Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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