Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
