Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
