I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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